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The “You-est of Yous”: Expectations across the pond

Chapter 6. WOW. Here we are already! Even as I write this, I feel like I am on Chapter 106. That is how Kim & my relationship has been since night 1…feeling as if we’ve already known each other for 20 years.


It’s that beautiful tug and pull of our souls – feeling like we’ve known each other since we were kids, and also pulling out the KID in each of us. We laugh until our sides hurt, already have so many inside jokes, know just how to playfully “make fun WITH” each other, and get really creative when it comes to our “FaceTime Dates.” (Workout time, anyone?)


However, we also GO DEEP. Even as hard as the distance has been, I’ve cherished the emotional & spiritually intimacy that has developed simply because – we’ve had no other option. Let me take a step back – I guess we COULD have kept things superficial. But that is just not us. Because we’ve had no opportunity to physically rely on dates and “doing things” together, we’ve had to build our relationship through talking, communicating and getting to the “real stuff.” We’ve skipped the fluff. The fluff – like going on hikes, enjoying time at the cinema, discovering new restaurants together, going dancing – that’s the stuff we will enjoy later. WE SO look forward to the FLUFF!


In these months apart, we’ve gotten to enjoy each other – the real people we are, from the inside out. I attribute so much of this to not only God, but Kim himself. Had Kim not been so open, so honest, so raw and vulnerable about his life and himself, we wouldn’t be where we are today.

And where is that? A couple that is completely in love and beyond excited about our miraculous future together.


Besides, “I love you,” which came out of the both of us quite suddenly, quickly and yet GENUINELY into our relationship, I’ll never forget my other favorite phrase that has left Kims lips….”Cheyanne, you’ve rapidly become my very BEST FRIEND.”

This happened sometime in mid-October…and it was as if he had completely read my mind. Over the previous weeks, I couldn’t believe or barely keep up with the pace & beauty of our relationship. I’d always PRAYED for an intimacy like this…but when it’s completely thrust into your face when you weren’t expecting it, it takes some catching up.


As I continue to “catch up”, I pray I NEVER take him and US for granted. We pray and expect for miracles every single day and then one day, they are here. I know I have not only prayed, but prepared myself for a LOVE like this. I am finding there is nothing like “experiencing it”, but I am also thankful that I spent intentional time discovering myself and learning to love myself before Kim came.

Kim and I both went on our own separate journeys as individuals, long before we met, to discover who we were, to seek truth, to find faith and bring a whole person to the table of our relationship.


This is why, as much as we often share we wish we’d met sooner, we can also say we are also thankful for the time we spent before our magical meeting, developing into these strong, unique, fulfilled individuals, so we could meet as completely whole people, and not put false expectations on each other.

If you’re out there, waiting on your love, don’t waste your singleness. This could be the only time you have with just you. Discover who you are, what you believe.

I felt a very strong sense of urgency about 1.5 years ago on my soul to not WAIT until I WAS a wife to work on becoming a good one. I started intentionally discovering what God considers qualities of a good wife, and began developing these qualities intentionally. I am more humble, patient, helpful, kind, thoughtful, caring and etc., because of the situations and experiences I placed myself in. Also, I have to share, from circumstances GOD placed me in. You know when they say be careful what you pray for? Oh yes, I’ve experienced humble answers to prayers as well!


Now, I am absolutely NOT perfect in this area. However, I am satisfied in my soul that I remained vigilant in something SO important, so that I could greater serve and honor my future family.

Now, when my incredible man, shares that he most loves and most wants me to be the “you-est” of yous…the most authentic me possible…I know exactly who that person is today. And I continue to discover her, day by day, now with this exceptional man at my side that allows me to grow and nourishes my soul.

In my next blog post, I look forward to sharing with you some of Kim and my FAVORITE ways to spend time together, even while thousands of miles apart, and some fun ideas of how to build emotional & spiritual intimacy in the most simple of ways!




  • marianne

    excellent work with your writing skills

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