Trying to get your husband to be MORE ROMANTIC, but NOTHING is working? You’ve come to the right place. We know exactly what it’s like to be right there – I, Cheyanne, have been there myself, but also so have the hundreds of women we’ve helped overcome this hurdle. Any married person can agree, that it’s easy to get married, but to stay married & do so happily, that’s a whole other story. When trying to get their husbands to be more romantic, wives often fall short in giving him the right inspiration. When discussing this topic together with my husband Kim, we came up with the 2 mistakes wives make when trying to get their husbands to be more romantic.
We’re here to share the mistakes with you today so that you can 1. be aware of where you might be getting in your own way and 2. what you can do to increase the romance and intimacy in your marriage. So, let’s get those romantic juices flowing, ladies!
But first, let’s begin with the nitty gritty and talk about where you might be going wrong…
Wives don’t clearly communicate what they need
Let’s be honest with ourselves, ladies. Do we even KNOW what we want?
That might be the best first step. Sometimes we think we do, but if we actually had to write it down on paper, it might be harder to put into words than we think. Where our mysterious nature may have pulled our husbands in when we were dating, when we want a passionate & romantic life-long relationship, we need to be more clear and specific.
Sometimes, whether consciously or not, we may even expect our husbands to know what we want better than what we want ourselves. (Ahem, dropping hints, anyone?)
Listen to our real-life, tangible examples of this exact situation on our latest podcast:
Basically, you need to clearly communicate what you need to your husband. (We know – it’s hard to sometimes effectively communicate all these thoughts & emotions that are inside your head. That’s why we wrote this blog post in order to help you organize them all & get them out visually on paper – this way, it’ll be easier for you to communicate exactly what you want to your husband.)
Men thrive best when they know exactly what you expect of them. Ask him directly to plan out a date. Speak it out that you want him to set up getting the babysitter. Don’t be afraid to check in and make sure what you communicated was comprehended by your husband. As a wife myself, I know it feels more romantic when he does these things himself without being asked to, however, I think we all need to ask ourselves which is worse: him not picking up the hints & we keep getting more frustrated OR we clearly communicate our desires & we get to have romantic moments with our husbands? Sometimes, we have to pick our battles and choose the one that leads us to more connection & deeper intimacy with our husbands. Just keep it real, sister.
Wives send nonverbal signals that their husbands misinterupt
Did you know only 7% of communication is actually verbal?
That means the other 93% is done so in non-verbal ways. Yep, we’re talking body language, ladies. Every look, every glance, and even every sigh we give, is a way we’re communicating with our husbands. Whether we are fully aware of it or not ladies, we hold the key to our husband’s confidence.
On one hand, we may want him to interpret or “pick up what we’re throwing down” with all our hints, but on the other hand, sometimes he misinterprets our hints & body language altogether. You may not be meaning to make him feel inadequate or incapable of pleasing you, but your non-verbals may be accidentally telling another story. Even though he may not like to admit it, your husband’s heart is fragile. He wants to please you. He wants you to feel desired. And if he feels that he’s not able to do so, he will feel defeated already and not be inspired to do so.
What we would suggest is to take a different approach. Instead of pointing out to your husband all of the ways you “wish he was more romantic,” first start off by sharing with him what you love that he does already. Give him a confidence boost!
If you want romance, feed the fire in him. Show that you do appreciate the things he does. Make him aware that he does have a romantic side. And when the time is right to share with him what you’d like him to do instead, be ready to speak your desires clearly and give him some specific examples. He will want to do a good job and see you happy. Men have an internal desire to provide and protect – and if he can do that for his woman’s heart – he’s going to want to keep doing it.
Come find exact ways of how you can further boost your husband’s masculinity & confidence (that’ll open the doors of romance in your marriage) on our podcast:
I know, ladies, that fixing these two mistakes can truly transform the communication between you and your husband and make your marriage flourish.
However, it can be easier said than done.
What do you do when your husband reacts in a way you’re not expecting?
Do you know how to navigate these challenging waters of effective communication with your husband?
If not, don’t despair. Kim & I are opening the doors to our BRAND NEW course, Vowology, where we help wives develop a strong foundation of communication between them and their husbands, where they have no fear for the future of their marriage. We will be leading ladies through this LIVE, so you’ll have tons of hands-on support.
You can get on the waitlist right here – so you will be the first to have access when the doors open and have special, exclusive bonus offers coming your way!
We look forward to hearing about your growth and seeing your connection with your husband only deepen and more testimonies of some hot date nights! Go for it, ladies!