And Have It Continue For A Lifetime
Do you ever wish that the honeymoon phase would never end? Ya know, that phase where you and your husband can’t keep your hands off of each other. That phase where your husband would leave you notes, get you flowers and butterflies were constantly flying around in both of your stomachs. That phase slowly fades away as work, family & other pressures and stresses take over.
So many wives are currently waiting for their husbands to come and save their marriage, meanwhile, as they grow more & more lonely & desperate every day for more connection & intimacy with the man they married. Unfortunately, they will probably be waiting a long time for something that, more than likely, will never happen.
But, not you, action taker. It’s time for you to embrace the warrior within and protect what matters most, your marriage.
We are here to show you 3 ways to extend the honeymoon phase by sharing exactly what needs to shift/change in your marriage to reawaken your passion and how to make it last for the rest of your lives.
(We also did a podcast episode where we dive even deeper into these 3 reasons – go check it out here).
Don’t Stop Doing
You’ve probably heard the expression, “Never stop dating your spouse,” and we would say it is so very true, no matter what season of life you are in. Love is a verb after all – it takes action & motion. It only happens when we make it happen and when we keep it alive. It doesn’t take long after saying “I Do,” to realize that love is beyond a feeling. We like to relate it to a workout plan you may execute in the gym..the moment you stop doing, it becomes the beginning of the end. Meaning, the moment you stop doing the actions is the moment your hard work starts to disappear & you go back to where you started.
So often we think we should only do something AFTER we have the feeling that we want to do it. It’s only natural…it’s part of being human to feel this way. However, if we continually give into this feeling, it could easily become a habit – the less we do, the less we want to do. Think of love as “energy in motion,” so, the more you “do” it, the more you’ll feel like doing it.
If you’re struggling here, start by doing the things you used to do when you were infatuated...stop and get your spouse flowers, and his favorite food, write him a card or offer to massage his back. Just go execute. Start with a simple & small gesture and eventually it could develop into a habit, where you won’t have to think about it or push yourself into doing it anymore, you just will.
Learn your spouse’s love language & own it
Have you ever heard of a couple where one person feels that they are not being loved, while the other one feels they tell them every day? Or where one person feels that the other never apologizes, while the other person feels they say it every day? Maybe this is you.
That’s because in communication, it’s not as much about saying as it is about being understood. Another way to say it is when we’re aiming to love our spouse well, we should seek not just communication, but comprehension. We need to make sure they can feel & understand the love that we are showing them. One way you can do this is by discovering your spouse’s love language.
We all have a dominant preference of how we best show – but even more important – UNDERSTAND love.
We can travel to Japan tomorrow and say ‘how do you do’ to everyone we meet, but we’re sure they would not know what we’re saying. So, if anyone should ask them if we asked them how they’re doing, they would simply say: “no”.
So when it comes down to communicating both an ‘i love you’ and an ‘i’m sorry’, we need to make sure we translate our message to the language that our spouse does understand.
And we’d like for you to take it one step further, and learn how to speak those languages until you become fluent in them.
Because whether it comes down to feeling loved or feeling understood, nothing is more devastating than pouring your heart and soul into something, and not having your intentions fulfilled.
This is one of those “quality over quantity” things -> one sentence in the right language is way more effective than 10 sentences in the wrong language.
In order to do this most effectively, in just 10 minutes a day, we created our #3DayMarriageChallenge. For 3 days, we send you daily e-mails where you will be able to discover you & your spouse’s love language, apology language & ignite the intimacy inside your marriage. Sign up here.
Develop a Stronger Sense of We
Ultimately, one of the bet ways you can extend the honeymoon phase for a lifetime is to celebrate your differences. Don’t aim to focus on or magnify how different you are. Instead, focus on your similarities, and see the differences as something you use FOR your team.
As tempting as it can be, don’t try to make your spouse into another you. Instead, seek to see how they’re different and how they can use their own “zones of geniuses” to serve & love you & your family, in a way you can’t.
We know…it can be a challenge to organize all of these thoughts in your head & see them clearly. We went deeper into how creating a vision board for your marriage can get your dreams, beliefs & expectations down on paper. A vision board can help you set small goals & celebrate small wins while trying to figure out how your differences can serve, instead of separate, your family. Check out that post here.
Sometimes, it’s hard to work on all these things at once.
What we have found that works best is to start small, pinpoint one specific area that you can work on, build up a habit and master and continually build off of.
Maybe you’re thinking,” Ok, that’s great guys, but where do I start?” We got you.
We created a simple 15-question quiz that, in less than a minute, will guide you exactly to the area you want to focus on to start bringing the honeymoon phase back into your marriage and increase that intimacy and connection with your spouse ASAP.
Dive in right away right here.
Always here for you & your family,
Kim & Cheyanne
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