Hello, step mom!
I remember not too long ago, as I was celebrating
my 30th birthday and I had still not met my Mister Right.
At that point I did have over a decade experience as a nanny,
so I had been preparing to become a mom someday.
Yet deep in my heart, I knew that there had
to be a purpose to it all.
I knew that the chances were increasing year by year
that I would meet someone who already had kids.
I knew that I was being prepared to take care
of children that weren’t mine.
Never could I have imagined the way things would unfold.
I was at most challenged when I moved to Belgium & moved in with my new family: my husband & his then 10 year old daughter whom I had never met in person
and whose language I did not speak.
I soon became her full time step mom, taking on the motherly role in her life, and yet I couldn’t communicate, give discipline & basically parent in the innate way I felt best.
I was craving to be understood, accepted and needed.
I felt obsolete in my own house, trapped in a situation where I felt like me and my stepdaughter spoke a different language, literally. I couldn’t talk to her, literally.
I had no idea what she was saying to me, literally.
I felt totally disempowered.
I may not have given you the gift of life,
but life has given me the gift of you.
In order to achieve a sense of contribution to my family,
I had to shift from a “what can’t I say” to a “what CAN I do” perspective.
To learn more about this, I turned to my husband, my intuition and God.
When I shifted from a ”talking” to a “being’” state of mind,
I felt free, at peace and empowered.
I went from feeling like a failed and frustrated wannabe stepmom, to a strong and confident bonus mom, so that my relationship with my bonus girl, my husband,
and her biological mother, now is more natural, effective and thriving.
Here’s to your success.