Hello, step mom!
I remember not too long ago, as I was celebrating
my 30th birthday and I had still not met my Mister Right.
At that point I did have over a decade experience as a nanny,
so I had been preparing to become a mom someday.
Yet deep in my heart, I knew that there had
to be a purpose to it all.
I knew that the chances were increasing year by year
that I would meet someone who already had kids.
I knew that I was being prepared to take care
of children that weren’t mine.
Never could I have imagined the way things would unfold.
I was at most challenged when I moved to Belgium & moved in with my new family: my husband & his then 10 year old daughter whom I had never met in person
and whose language I did not speak.
I soon became her full time step mom, taking on the motherly role in her life, and yet I couldn’t communicate, give discipline & basically parent in the innate way I felt best.
I was craving to be understood, accepted and needed.
I felt obsolete in my own house, trapped in a situation where I felt like me and my stepdaughter spoke a different language, literally. I couldn’t talk to her, literally.
I had no idea what she was saying to me, literally.
I felt totally disempowered.
“
I may not have given you the gift of life,
but life has given me the gift of you.
“
In order to achieve a sense of contribution to my family,
I had to shift from a “what can’t I say” to a “what CAN I do” perspective.
To learn more about this, I turned to my husband, my intuition and God.
When I shifted from a ”talking” to a “being’” state of mind,
I felt free, at peace and empowered.
I went from feeling like a failed and frustrated wannabe stepmom, to a strong and confident bonus mom, so that my relationship with my bonus girl, my husband,
and her biological mother, now is more natural, effective and thriving.
Here’s to your success.
The Cleymans 