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How can you call yourself a coach? What do you know about coaching step families?

What qualifies someone to be a coach?

Is it a degree? A title? Hours spent in a classroom?

Only you can answer that for yourself. A coach, to everyone, has a different meaning and definition.

I don’t know what being a coach means to you, but I DO know that the biggest impact I’ve ever made in someone’s life wasn’t those who came to me over a piece of paper or “proper” qualification.

It was people who saw themselves in my story. It was people who saw the authenticity I showed in sharing my own story and from that, felt a glimmer of hope.

I have experienced this for many years as a health & fitness coach. At one time in my life, I was a vivacious 260 pound woman who wasn’t living up to her full potential. I was trapped inside a body that didn’t match the woman I was inside. I was lost in a vicious cycle of food addiction and self-loathing. However, over years of trial & error, I became victorious in losing over 100 pounds. I’ve gone on to run 3 marathons, 1 half marathon, 1 triathlon, several mud runs, star on a TLC weight loss show, host health & fitness videos for big corporations, group fitness class instructor and train countless people, on & offline, to their own best selves. ALL without a degree.

Now I have been blessed to, after several years of being in a step family (and growing up in one myself), I get this same daily opportunity as a multicultural step family coach.

LIFE truly is one of the greatest teachers. God has brought me through so much in these past 2.5 years, that it would be a SHAME to keep all the goodness He’s taught me to myself. My husband and I are blown away by the impact our story has had on other families going through very similar circumstances.

Even in my own experience with coaches in my life, the ones I’ve learned from the most came from those that I connected with in their own story.

I remember my Dad once telling me of how my childhood Pastor Ken, when he would have someone come to him with a need for help with an alcohol addiction, he would immediately call up my Dad and ask HIM to help. You see – my dad has struggled with abuse with alcohol before. He knows what it’s like to feel powerless and defeated by it. He understands the triggers. He can listen with an understanding heart and open mind in a way others cannot. He also knows how to overcome it.

Our Pastor didn’t come to my Dad because he was a therapist, counselor or someone who “had it all figured out.” He came to my Dad because he knew my Dad would help the person in need feel not alone and show them a way and hope through their mess.

We are stepfamily coaches because we ARE a stepfamily.

We are not PERFECT at it. No coach is. No family is.

I have learned within my own health journey that the message doesn’t come in the perfection, but in what you do once you fall down.

Do you get back up?

How do you take what you learned to move others & bring others along with you?

If you have someone in your life that doesn’t see your true value or worth as a coach (or just as a person), block them. Not just on social, but out of your life.

Their negetivity will bring nothing but distrctuion and turmoil.

And really, it just shows more of where THEY are anyway, and nothing about the beautiful hope, joy and presence that you bring to this world.

Your greatest impact in life will come from relating to those around you.

For years, when people have asked me, what’s my greatest tip I can give for true transformation, and I always come back to this one truth – the key to TRANSFORMATION IS IN VULNERABILITY.

Once you are vulnerable, you WILL begin the journey of healing and be set FREE.

No matter where you struggle in life, START there. Don’t wait.

Don’t ask for permission. IF you “need” it, I am giving it to you.

Be set free of judgement. Shame. Self-loathing. Anxiety. Fear. ALL OF IT.

As my husband & I continue to journey on in our stepfamily life, we continue to grow and learn. Change is inevitable in any family. You can’t control it. All you can control is you and your adaption to it all. Right now, we’re focusing on the amazing families, like you reading this, that we get the honor to impact and encourage daily with our story.

Just never forget, your story matters too. YOU matter.

-Cheyanne Cleyman

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