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Is Your Ex-Wife Threatening To Take Your Kids Away?

Children shouldn’t be used as bargining pieces.

Ex-Wife Is Threatening To Take Away Your Kids 

Is your ex-wife threatening to take your kids away from you? 

Is your husband in constant fear and turmoil, because his children’s mother uses his kids against him? 

If you just replied ‘yes’ to either of these questions, chances are you’re feeling pretty powerless. In some situations, and some ways, there may not be a ton you can do. 

However, we are here to empower you, as a couple. 
We are here to help you focus on what you can do to make a sad and frustrating situation a little better.  

1 – False Evidence Appearing Real 

Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for an ex to make threats about taking the kids away. It’s a blatant way of manipulating you into adhering to their demands. Because face it: what loving and caring parent would want their children to get taken away from them? No one.

And that’s why it’s so effective, which is why it’s so popular with high-conflict, ex-wives. They could try threats to make us fear them. Our own fears want to control us, because it protects us of any unknowns.  

First & foremost, discover your rights. This may take some research & digging, but make the time and investment to do so. Most of these are public knowledge and would require no big fees to discover. 

As a dad, YOU have rights too.

If you’re still unsure about going to court, read our blog article why it might be the best thing you could do for your kids and your family here.

2- Boundaries 

Have you put up strong & firm boundaries? 
Have they been communicated and are you still not listened to? 

Speaking of – how good are you at respecting your own boundaries? 
When you draw a line for yourself – do you stick to it? 
Because if you don’t, how can you expect others to respect to do so? 
It does start with you respecting you. 

But maybe it’s time to let the law protect your rights in the setting of a court. 
Agreed, court is not ideal, but it could save you a lot of stress, pain and money in the long run.  

Maybe you owe it to yourself, your relationship with your children and even to your current spouse. 

Boundaries protect everyone in your family – especially, your children.

Ex-Wife Is Threatening To Take Away Your Kids 

3- Psychological Warfare

Sadly, it doesn’t stop at court for many. 

When disgruntled exes can’t take your children away from you physically, their next step is to take your children away from you mentally and emotionally. 

From now on you are not the one that’s being manipulated; the arrows get pointed towards the children.

They are being told tales of old that are no longer relevant at all and have nothing to do with them, yet they do succeed at putting you in a bad light. 
And sometimes they are being told straight up lies. 

If you’re lucky, your children will ask you about what they’re told, but you’ll probably catch them when they accidentally slip and say something they shouldn’t know about. 

Your kids are always watching.
What are you teaching them through your actions in how you let your ex treat you?

Now, you may feel the need to defend yourself, or maybe even talk trash about the other parent.

But for some reason, that strategy probably does not feel well and it won’t last long before we’ll regret having done so. Because, after all, that sure won’t make things easier on your kids, who always are the duped ones.

Maybe the kids are being threatened now, or ‘punished’ for ‘loving’ you.
Maybe it won’t last long ‘till your children don’t want to come over anymore, 
and THAT’s what any parent’s REALLY afraid of.

And so maybe you were better off where you began at the start:
playing by their rules???  Having your wishes and boundaries molested – but you had your kids, right? Or at least, the illusion of having your kids. 

Your kids know how much you love them not just by what you say, but by what you do.

Ex-Wife Is Threatening To Take Away Your Kids 

Questions For The Dad In This Situation

Because, let’s face it: if you feel that this entire blog post has been written for you – you have big problem. A huge one.  

You ended up in a position where you feel you’re with your back against a wall and she’s got you cornered. There’s nothing you can do and there’s no way out. 

Only, there is. 

You’re definitely not the first man who finds himself in this position. 

And this wall that you’re backed up against, is not a real wall; 
it only appears to be a wall. 

As long as you feel trapped, you’ll stay trapped. 
As long as you’re under control of the situation, you cannot control the situation. 

Or stated differently: 
You cannot control a situation that you are controlled by. 

And I’m sorry to put it this bluntly, but when you’re in a situation like this, most likely you’re going to “lose” your children anyway. 

But are you willing to let her make that call, depending on how many hoops you jump through? 

How far are you willing to go before she pulls the plug on you?
How many deaths are you willing to die before she finishes you off?

OR 

Would you rather take control in your own hands, by focusing on what you CAN control? 

No, you can’t control what she says to your kids. 


Agreed, you can’t control her when she takes away your children. 

But in the end, it is only a phase: our children WILL be adults one day, and what will SHE have left, at the end of the day?

Because your children WILL look you in the eye – whether she likes it or not. 

And what will they see at that point? 

Don’t let these sorrows nest, let them fly away.

Will they see someone that is completely broken and drained, only a shadow of the man he used to be one day? 

Or will they see a man standing straight in his shoes – someone who has nothing to hide, who always played fair ball, who always loved them through any and everything? 

Someone who was always there for his children, when they wanted him? 
Will they see a man living out the virtues of what it means to be a ‘father’? 

Will your children see someone who respects himself? 

And will your children still respect her when they come to see who you truly are? 

Hold tight to that hope & faith that your kids WILL see the truth someday.

A good first step in keeping your ex’s attacks at bay is taking control of how she enters your home and how often. If you want more peace in your home, you have to get her influence out.

Learn how to do so in our guide right HERE.

You’re not alone. We are here for you. Always.

Kim & Cheyanne Cleyman

 

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