Blame? That’s easy. Willing to take a step back, and realize where you may be in the wrong or acknowledge something from your past is coming out? Now, that’s the challenging step.
However, when you choose that latter step, it opens up doors for growth and greater understanding of your spouse and even yourself. In this blog post, we take on a journey of discovery of things you blamed your spouse for that weren’t their fault, so that you can experience real clarity and love what you then find there.
***Check out our podcast on this exact topic right here.
When the pressure of marriage’s challenges are placed on people, ‘cracks’ or our imperfections are often exposed. This CAN be scary, however, it also can be an awesome opportunity for growth. Often, when spouses see imperfections in themselves come out during challenging times in their marriage, they easily place blame on their spouse. It can be easy to assume it’s our spouse’s fault when we act or react a certain way that’s new or different to us. However, what is being exposed is what has always lied deep within us. Only when the pressures of marriage, inside a loving & trusting relationship, are these things brought to the service and able to be dealt with. We would argue, instead, to see your spouse as an advocate for your healing.
If we can see our spouse as a helper, rather than our enemy, we can even thank them for helping expose these things within us. What is revealed can now be healed.
Now that these ‘cracks’ within us are now brought to light, we can choose to love ourselves and our spouses for who we truly are. Where there is honesty, transparency & openness, true love can exist and ultimately flourish. When we learn new things about ourselves or our spouse, we can now love them more fully. Whether we like what we learn or not, we can choose to look at this all as an opportunity to love those things even more. It can be exciting to learn new things about ourselves or our spouse that we didn’t know before. We inevitably will continually learn new things as everyone, including our marriage, will change as it is the one constant in life. We say – lean into that reality…all the way. Aim to look at it as an opportunity for growth and true unconditional love.
We can also now be grateful, that all these things that were once hidden, can now be healed. Ever get in an argument and have no idea why you’re upset? Of course, we all have been there. You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t. Often, this is because there are hurts or misunderstandings under the service that we just weren’t aware of. Instead of trying to push them back under the service, look at this as the perfect opportunity to deal with them once and for all. Allow your spouse to be a part of your healing journey. Talk about your feelings with them. Share what you’re discovering and processing within yourself – and of course, give them the safe space to do the same.
Want more conversations like this in a space where you can add your own 2 cents and get consistent encouragement and growth as a wife? Come join our FREE FB group, The Vow Keepers, exclusively for wives who want to grow their wife skills and have deeper & more intimate connection with their husbands for a lifetime.
See you there!
-Kim & Cheyanne